l:-- The Great Authoritative Extra Great Guide to Killing, Slaying, Butchering, and Otherwise Disembowelling Humans

INTRODUCTION - For years they have hunted us. They have destroyed our families, stolen our precious treasures, and cast us into shadows and caves below.
They have driven us out of the sunlight. They have had so much power; and we have been shackled down by our stupidity.
But the tides are turning. We have improved ourselves, while they wallow in their success... their minds degrade, and their discipline erodes. Someday soon, the day will come when we make them share our pain.

Humans, ever dedicated to their own deaths, have a saying: Divide and conquer. It's a great way to take them down. Humans are less dangerous when they don't have each other to reinforce them.
But what do you get when you split a big, chaotic, disorganized group of goblins in two?
Two big, chaotic, disorganized groups of goblins... each one just as capable of killing humans as the original group was!

Once a goblin came upon a human alone in the forest. Instead of killing the human, he followed it until it led him back to a city. Then he came back with his friends and killed all the humans, killed them good!
The moral of the story: take the useful knowledge out of a human head BEFORE you chop it off!

Never turn your back on a dying human. The sight should be savoured.

As a footnote, it should not be forgotten that, while you are laughing gleefully over the many creative deaths the humans will face, they will be trying to kill you.
Remember, you have to stay alive if you are going to kill the humans! It is where the plans of so many goblins have gone wrong...

The humans think we are stupid. Eventually, they will learn. But do not dissuade them of their belief. The longer they underestimate us, the longer we can take them by surprise, and lead them to wholesale slaughter.

Trust a giant from as far away as he can throw. Trust a nephil from as far away as he can shoot. Trust a slith from as far away as he can aim a fireball. But never, never trust a human -- until he is a mangy corpse!

We goblins must learn to trust and rely on each other. However, it's always good to have a backup plan.
And if the backup plan also involves relying on goblins, you will want to have a third plan. If that plan also involves relying on goblins, you will want to have a fourth plan...

Humans are whiny and sensitive, like babies who have been coddled. A lot of goblins are whiny and sensitive too. But we must try to be better than the humans. We must put up with discomfort, so that we may better slay the evil men.